Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
no you cant smoke seaweed
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
