her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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