apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
