You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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