Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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