I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
