I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize