I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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