So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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