My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
