well most of my day revolves around power hour
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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