do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
