whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Too much gin, very little bucket
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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