Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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