Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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