My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
