No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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