im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
