i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
