At least make sure they are 18
Why
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
