You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize