I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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