We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
