Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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