I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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