Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
