if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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