their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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