Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
