I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
