Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
did you just send me my own nude
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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