Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize