just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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