are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
