Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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