the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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