its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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