I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
