i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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