Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Randomize
