Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
