How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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