Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
