I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
