Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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