All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
