these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
