Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I don't deserve a penis
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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