dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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