I'm drive I can fine osifer
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
