R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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