I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
