Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
