I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
My vagina is very pro this idea
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
