I'm sorry my penis didn't work
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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