Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
