whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
