dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
