i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
