Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
