Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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