could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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