i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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